Random thoughts

Tonnes of work in my to-do-list,

but still, I procrastinate all the while.

Finals are just around the corner, FYP is in the half way process,

Still, all of us slacking around and don't have the urge to continue the remaining part.

Mommy, if I promise I will work harder and give you a better life

 in future, can I just stop my study?

There's one night I cant sleep and I miss my mom out of sudden.

I recall those moments when I having the most rebellious period,

I used to shut my door every time my mom scolded me and 

talked with her with an impatient tone.

"I don't think you are my mom where you treat me even worst than my aunt!"

A slap on my face at the moment I voice out those words. 

I still remember how it hurts and regret max.

I never like study, 

whenever there's a exam or midterm being held,

I would start revision earlier than anyone else,

but that doesn't means I love it.

To be frank, I wanna stand out from crowd,

 I wanna be the winner instead of loser,

but again, who prefers to become a loser then?

 I want my parents to be proud by having a daughter like me.

But, I disappointed them again and again.

I lose my JPA scholarship in the first place,

then UTAR's and now I cant even get the first class honor.

I feel shame on myself.

I've think a lot recently,

from who am I until what I'm gonna be in future,

miserable future full of uncertainties awaiting me.

I should learn how to take things easily from now on.

Keep holding on, I know I'll make it through.